


if you're not dancing

by SoloChaos



Series: go go go (one of us) [15]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Flashbacks, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Violence, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:10:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part XV</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you're not dancing

"So, I, uh," Tyler says, pulling back. They're both panting from their make-out session. "I've been doing some research."

"Is that so?" Josh murmurs, mouthing along Tyler's jaw down to his neck.

"Yeah. I wanted to know if you have two-" He laughs when Josh rubs his stubble across his neck. "That tickles, dude."

"If I have two what?" Josh asks.

"Penises."

Josh freezes. "Uh. No."

"Oh," Tyler says, and from his tone Josh can't even tell if he's disappointed or not.

Josh decides to play it safe by biting Tyler's neck.

"Ow!" Tyler yelps, but he's laughing.

"Any other questions?" Josh asks.

"One," Tyler says. "Do you have, um, spinelikespursbyanychance?"

"What?"

"Spike-like spurs," Tyler repeats, blushing. "Do you have them?"

"...no," Josh says. "Tyler, I have a normal, human penis, okay?"

"Okay," Tyler says, looking immensely relieved.

They go back to kissing, and somehow they both wind up nearly completely naked.

"Oh, wow," Tyler says.

"What?" Josh says, resisting the urge to cover himself.

"You're _big,"_ Tyler says, staring.

"Sorry," Josh apologizes.

"Oh my gosh, don't apologize, you dork," Tyler says, wrapping his arms around Josh and kissing him.

"Sorry," Josh says once their mouths part.

Tyler rolls his eyes. "Come on. Aren't you going to take your shirt off?"

"Oh." Josh pauses, hands on the hem of his shirt. "No, it's okay."

Tyler frowns. "You know I'm okay with the whole shark body thing, right?"

"Yes, of course," Josh assures him. "I just want it on. That's all."

Tyler sighs, pressing a gentle kiss to Josh's cheek. "Okay," he says softly.

Josh kisses him, and Tyler opens his mouth, letting Josh in. He pulls Josh down on top of him. They kiss leisurely for a while, Tyler rubbing circles in Josh's back.

"Love you," Tyler whispers when they pull back for air. "Love you so much."

"Love you too," Josh murmurs back. Tyler grins against Josh's mouth. Josh feels him wrap his legs around Josh's, pulling their hips closer to the other's.

"Okay," Tyler says, panting a little. "Do you know what comes next?"

"Um," Josh says, wondering if this is a trick question. "We have sex?"

"Well, yes," Tyler says, smiling a little, "but I meant that you open me up."

"What?"

Tyler hands him a bottle of... something.

"What's this?" Josh asks.

Tyler gives him puzzled look. "Lube," he says. At Josh's blank stare, he clarifies, "Lubricant."

"Why do we need that?"

"So it doesn't hurt."

Josh stares at him for a few moments, then down at the bottle in his hand.

"...I can't do this," he says, handing the bottle back.

"What?" Tyler frowns. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to hurt you," Josh says. He climbs off of Tyler, who sits up.

"You're not going to hurt me, Josh," Tyler tries to assure him.

"How do you know?" Josh asks. He buries his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Tyler."

"It's okay," Tyler says, giving him a hug. "It's okay." He kisses a scar on Josh's bicep. "It's okay."

They sit in silence together for a moment.

"What if _I_ topped?" Tyler says suddenly.

Josh frowns. "Topped?"

"You know," Tyler says, blushing. "Be the one to, um, penetrate? Instead of being, uh, penetrated?"

"Oh man, stop saying penetrate," Josh says. Tyler laughs. "I guess we can try that."

"Really?" Tyler says in surprise.

"Yeah, sure," Josh says. "Why not?"

Tyler blushes. "I've always bottomed," he mumbles. "Well, not _always,_ but guys just seem to assume I prefer to bottom or something. Apparently I give off something that says I'm a bottom. Or every guy in the world had a meeting and all decided that I should bottom."

"I don't think I've ever heard anyone use the word 'bottom' in such a short amount of time," Josh replies.

Tyler rolls his eyes. "Are you sure about this?" he asks Josh as he flicks open the cap of the lube.

Josh isn't entirely, but he nods anyway.

They find themselves situated with Josh on his back and Tyler between his legs, pressing his fingers into Josh.

"Okay?" Tyler asks as he shifts his fingers. Josh swallows, thinking about it.

"Yeah," he decides. "Weird, but okay."

Tyler finally pulls his fingers out, and Josh hears the sound of a package being torn open. He looks to see Tyler sliding on a condom.

"Okay," Tyler takes a deep breath. "Ready?"

Josh nods, and biting his lip, Tyler pushes in.

It's slow, which is different, but Josh can feel the stretch, and he knows it would hurt if he could feel pain. He tries to focus on something else, like the way Tyler's running his hands through Josh's hair. But he can feels his throat closing up and his hands starting to shake.

"Are you all right?"

Josh wants to say no, he's not all right, but Tyler's waited so damn long for this and Josh doesn't want to say no to those gentle eyes.

So he nods.

Tyler smiles and kisses his cheek. Josh is thankful it wasn't on the lips, because he doesn't know if he'd be able to kiss back. _Don't mess this up,_ he thinks to himself. He feels Tyler move his hips back before slowly moving them in again, and he swallows hard as he makes himself shift his hips up to meet the thrust.

Tyler's being gentle, of course he is, but Josh feels every stroke as a scratch, every caress as a claw. Phantom teeth dig into Josh's neck, and he barely resists the urge to snap his teeth as menacingly as he can.

"Love you," Tyler murmurs, but Josh can barely hear him because Tyler's mouth is uncomfortably close to his neck, and he's focusing on not freaking out about how Tyler could easily tear out his throat.

Tyler's starting to move his hips a little faster, and Josh tries to focus on the way Tyler's peppering soft, gentle kisses on his jaw, but it's getting hard to concentrate on anything other than how much he must be hurting if he could feel it.

He remembers Number Eight's eyes, yellow and animal as he shoved him down onto the cold linoleum floor. He remembers his thin gown being torn off and his legs being spread. He remembers the discomfort and the faint twinges of pain when he was roughly pushed into. He remembers being terrified, and he remembers _liking_ it. He remembers screaming. Screaming in fear, mostly fear, but in pain and... in pleasure.

_Screaming..._

"Josh!" Josh's eyes fly open just as Tyler slaps him across the face.

Before he knows it, Josh has thrown Tyler across the room and pinning him onto the floor. His mouth is open and his eyes rolled back into his head.

Josh isn't sure how long it takes, but he finally regains enough awareness to roll his eyes back into place and close his mouth.

Tyler's eyes wide and scared. He's shaking, and belatedly, Josh rolls off of him. Tyler isn't looking at him, though. He's looking at the door. Josh pauses, sniffing the air before he turns to look.

Debby.

"Debby, it's all right," Josh says as she glares down at Tyler with hard, mean eyes.

"In what world was that all right?" she growls.

"He was just-" Josh tries to explain, but he's cut off when Debby grabs his shirt and pulls him up behind her.

Tyler's still lying flat on his back. He's completely naked (sans condom) and utterly exposed.

"Were you that desperate?" Debby hisses as she drops to her knees beside Tyler. "Were you so hard up that you had to force Jo-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Josh says, holding his hands up. "Nobody here was forced."

"Conned, then," Debby says. "Conned into letting you-"

"He did not 'con' me," Josh says, starting to fear for Tyler's safety.

"Josh, I'm-" Tyler's cut off when Debby shifts her knee onto his throat.

"Shut. Up," she hisses. "Do you know what I did to the last guy?"

"Debby, please," Josh begs. "I haven't told him-"

"The last guy who hurt him like this?" she continues, ignoring Josh. Tyler's eyes are wide and scared and- and _sad._

"Debby, I haven't told him about that," Josh says quickly.

"Do you know what I did?" Debby demands, ignoring Josh in favor of showing Tyler her talons. "I ripped out his throat." She takes her knee off Tyler's throat. "Can you give me a good reason as to why I shouldn't do the same to you?"

"Debby, please, get _off_ of him!" Josh says, tugging at her shoulder. Thankfully, Debby pulls back. "Look," Josh tells her. "It was consensual. I said yes. He was gentle. I had a flashback. That was it."

Debby raises an eyebrow. "That was it?" she says skeptically.

"Yes," Josh says firmly. "That was it."

She looks down at Tyler, who's lying naked and wide-eyed on the floor, with a look of disdain.

"Fine," she huffs, throwing her hands up in surrender. "But don't think I won't remember this," she says as she stalks out.

Josh closes the door before sinking to his knees beside Tyler, who sits up.

"I'm sorry," they both say at the same time.

Josh is quiet, so Tyler takes it as a cue to say, "I'm sorry I hit you."

"I'm sorry I messed this up," Josh mumbles, and Tyler makes a pained noise.

"It's not your fault," he whispers. "Oh _gosh,_ it's _not_ your fault."

Josh just shakes his head, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them protectively. "Why did you hit me?"

Tyler winces. "I- I didn't know how to snap you out of... it. You were screaming, and you looked so scared, and I- I didn't- I'm _sorry-"_ Tyler's breath hitches.

"It's okay," Josh murmurs. "I'm not mad."

Tyler buries his head in his hands. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What was I supposed to say?"

"That you'd been hurt," Tyler says softly. "That you weren't ready."

Josh swallows hard. "I wanted to be ready," he says. "You- you deserve it. You've been waiting so long. It's almost been nine months, Tyler. And if I was normal, we'd have had sex on the third date."

"Oh, Josh," Tyler says, looking like he's on the verge of bursting into tears. "Josh, that- that doesn't matter to me. A relationship... this isn't about sex, J. This is about being in love. And sex is about loving in a different way, but oh gosh, if one of us isn't ready for that, then the other should wait. Because there are so many other things more important than sex, Josh, believe me." And then Tyler really does start to cry. "I love you," Tyler whispers through a sob. "I love you so, so much, and this is _not_ a deal-breaker, J, _believe_ me."

Josh leans in, starting to cry himself, and they share a long, tearful kiss. (Josh narrowly avoids being a creep and licking Tyler's cheek to see what his tears taste like. That, he's certain, would kill the mood in the wrong way.)

Tyler makes these small sobbing noises as they kiss, and his hands fist Josh's shirt, pulling him closer.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know," Josh whispers back. "I am too."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so in case you didn't see in the last fic's notes, I made a tumblr for this account (and I finally allowed asks whoops.) Come check it out [here](http://www.solo-chaos.tumblr.com)!


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